第5章 黄家驹05
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第5章黄家驹05(第1/2页)
浓浓回家拿万花油的功夫，刚看到集装箱的铁皮角，脚步就不由自主地放慢了。
眼前那个人，好像跟刚才那个满嘴跑火车的四眼田鸡完全不是同一个人了。
空地上铺着两张拆下来的硬纸板和泡沫垫。他脱了外套，衬衫袖子挽起。那些她看不懂的笨重家伙，被他像宝贝一样轻拿轻放，生怕磕着碰着。大铁箱子刚落稳，他还拿手心擦了擦顶上的灰，那动作像在温柔地摸谁的脑袋似的。
转身碰到地上掉的脏戏服时，他一脚踹开。
浓浓翻了个大大的白眼。
不管是铁疙瘩还是戏服，都是她真金白银买回来的，这个双标的王八蛋！浓浓三步并作两步冲上前，一把将那件被他踢得滚进泥水坑边缘的丝绒戏服捞了起来，狠狠剜了他一眼：“踢坏了你赔得起吗？这叫法国进口天鹅绒！你脚底下那双破皮鞋还没它一寸金贵！”
“天鹅绒？你闻闻那上面几斤重的臭味，我看叫天鹅馊还差不多，赶紧扔了，臭死了！”
“你以为你跟我买的牛仔外套和皮衣怎么来的？”
周围静得传来了几声夏蝉有气无力的叫声。
黄家驹脸上裂成了一道匪夷所思的缝隙，“你……你个奸商！”
“废话！你以为鸭寮街是中环连卡佛啊？几百块一件真皮，五块钱定金就给你穿走？”
浓浓心疼地抖了抖手里的天鹅绒，拍开上面的泥星子：“这玩意洗洗改改还能做个抱枕，到时候卖个六七十不过分吧。”
“喂！你积点阴德好不好？！谁买你抱枕谁折寿十年！人家两口子往沙发上一靠，本来想卿卿我我，一脑袋栽进你这天鹅馊里，当场被熏得七窍流血送玛丽医院抢救！你这叫蓄意谋杀，下半辈子直接搬去赤柱监狱开戏棚吧你！”
“我当然会洗干净，还会喷香香。”浓浓睨着他，“哎，你买回去那两件外套香不香？”
“你少转移话题！那是香味吗？那是工业香精掩盖罪证的味道！”黄家驹试图用嗓门压过自己鼻子闪过的那股香味。他确实偷偷把鼻子凑上去闻过，还跟世荣吹嘘识货的人一闻就知道这是顶级货。
现在想起来，那分明是杂牌洗洁精加了半瓶花露水腌出来的毒气。
浓浓没揭穿他的心虚，咯咯咯笑着将手里的万花油摇了摇，“药给你拿来了，过来我帮你擦。”
黄家驹原本还想嘴的，一听她的话，衬衫下摆被掐了一把的触感再次浮现出来，耳根子不受控制地红了，“我自己来！男女授受不亲，少占我们良家少男的便宜！”
“去，就你这样，倒贴我都不要。”
“说得好像我有多稀罕倒贴给你一样！”黄家驹飞快夺过药瓶，侧着身躲着她的视线偷摸擦药，嘴上依旧不饶人：“我好歹也是个搞严肃艺术的前卫吉他手，德高保险未来的金牌销冠！你以为我傻啊？找个母老虎天天在耳朵边念经，我还不如去尖沙咀抱琴盒跳维多利亚港！也就我心善，要是换了别人，被你刚才那么耍流氓掐一把，现在已经跑到万佛寺拜拜去了！”
（本章未完，请点击下一页继续阅读）第5章黄家驹05(第2/2页)
浓浓气极反笑，上下打量着他那副侧身遮遮掩掩怕被看光的贞洁烈夫模样：“看你瘦得跟个干瘪酸菜芯似的，浑身排骨直拉嗓子，摸你一把我还嫌硌手呢！还万佛寺拜拜，佛祖见着你都得连夜买站票回老家避难！真当自己是唐僧肉下凡了？呸！”
黄家驹一边龇牙咧嘴把万花油往腰上揉，一边侧着耳朵努力辨认她这一长串连珠炮里的北方词儿，什么酸菜芯什么啦嗓子，听不懂，但不是什么好词。他也说着生硬的普通话回：“喂，讲道理好不好！我这个系好标准的精瘦！健美！李小龙鸡不鸡道？摇滚巨星都系我这种身材！”
“你可少往自己脸上贴金了。还李小龙呢，李小龙要是长你这么两排小肋条，早让洋人一脚踹护城河里去了！还跳维多利亚港，你赶紧抱你那破琴跳，跳下去保准连个水花都砸不出来，直接飘在水面上当避难浮标！”
眼看普通话骂不过，黄家驹急得一口气把母语、烂英文加广普全倒了出来，试图把自己那点少男尊严给抢救回来一点：“喂！YOUShUtUp啦！你识唔识货噶？我呢啲叫ROCk&ROllSpirit！叫ArtiSt的骨相！你到底懂不懂faShiOn啊？好多女仔不知几中意这种瘦削有型！无文化不可怕，没品味才叫可怕！Unbelievable啊你！”
浓浓手里的大纸板扇得呼呼响，斜睨着他那张因为激动而通红的脸，冷笑一声：“可把你给能耐坏了，还昂比利五宝呢。一套一套的鸟语跟谁学哒？我就知道猪肉要是长你身上，连榨油的师傅看了都得抹眼泪！还殉道，维多利亚港里头的王八看见你跳下去，都得嫌你硌牙游走三里地！”
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